I've been reading a lot about how grad-school kicks your ass and I would really like to read an article that's like "you'll be ok. there is redemption in this system. there is reward." I was a really good student, I felt GOOD being a student, I felt good being a teacher, and right now it seems like an impossibility that I might someday get back to doing that with my list of brain/mood problems and I fucking hate that.
In other news, I've been really sick. My immune system is garbage. Eye, ear, sinus>lung infections. Antibiotic resistant blue shit in my ears called pseudomonas aeruginosa. I can't really convey how alarming it is to see teal stuff leaking out of your ear canal. Still on antibiotics, still feeling shitty. This also means I have to return to my awful integrative doctor and get more bloodwork. Pro: I have my own nebulizer machine now. All those frequent bronchitis miles really paid off.
Also, the beach is now out of the question because my eardrum ruptured so I'm not supposed to get water in it for 6-8 weeks. I'm having a really hard time coming up with anything I can do that brings me joy and that's what i'm supposed to be prioritizing right now.
On the cosplay front, NYCC is upon us. I am woefully behind, and there is an enormous pile of fabric that needs to be washed on my desk and I can't seem to rally and get up and do it.